I have a lot of pet peeves when it comes to dating, things guys do that instantly turn me off. At the top of my list is texting, as in doing entirely too much of it.

There was the guy I met at a wedding last year who asked for my phone number and then proceeded to text me for every conversation we had. For a month, every time he wanted to talk to me, he would text me.

Then there was the guy I met online who asked me out and asked for my phone number, presumably so he could call and set up a time and place. Wrong. He texted me to ask where I wanted to go. And when I texted him back, he took two days to reply (obviously texting wasn’t his only issue when it came to dating).

Last was the guy who did call to ask me out the first time, but then texted me every time after that.

Call me old-fashioned, but when a guy asks for my phone number, I want him to use it to call me so we can have a real, actual, person-to-person conversation. Remember those? It wasn’t that along ago when the only ways to ask someone out were either face to face or on the phone (OK, and the occasional handwritten note passed in study hall).

I don’t mind texting in casual uses, to say “What’s up” or ask how your day is going. Texting is perfect for that. And it’s a good way to start things up, to feel a person out.

“If you are uncomfortable talking to a girl, you should just text her and say ‘What’s up,’” says Brent Morrow. “Then if she doesn’t respond, it’s just a text message.”

Brent makes a good point that a text can be a great way to test the waters if you’re shy. But the problem comes when the texting continues and never gives way to an actual phone call.

“Text messaging is a good way to break the ice, it’s a good starting tool,” he says. Just make sure to take the next step and make that first phone call.

Amanda Jungk says she and her boyfriend text each other all the time instead of calling each other, but that’s not how the relationship got started. She understands the allure of texting someone when you’ve first met, saying “It’s easier to text when you meet somebody, because it’s not a face to face conversation.”

But, again, texting is NOT the way to ask a girl out.

“If he texts me to ask me out, that’s kind of weird,” she says. “But if he texts me to talk, that’s OK.”

The thing about texting when you should be talking is that it doesn’t convey the image of someone who wants to start a relationship. If a guy does nothing but text me, I assume he’s either: A) too scared or too lazy to call or B) not interested enough to put forth the effort a phone call requires. Neither of those options is very attractive.

So, bottom line: If you meet someone you like and you ask for his or her number, use it to call them! Yes, those first phone calls are scary, but so is the thought that your texting could be turning off someone who might have otherwise been interested.